Passive aggressive timeline followed by Delicious Recipe:
Momma’s “Whats for dinner? – Chicken and Pasta”.
0700– Someone in the house asks you “What’s for dinner”. Say you don’t know and wait for the next 4 people who come down the stairs and immediately look in the fridge as the same question.
1000 – Get up and look at what’s in the freezer and see you have some boneless chicken thighs.
Next time someone asks “What’s for dinner” (around 1200) say “chicken”.
When they say how are you going to make it? Say you don’t know and listen to them ramble on about what THEY want and why it is the right thing to make.
Explain the different folks in the house don’t LIKE what they want and then say you’re only cooking 1 dish. Listen as they relentlessly plead their cases about how the others in the household don’t matter.
Approximately 1500 -watch as they circle the wagons more deliberately, but separately, and send them on little goose chases:
“Well do we have buns?” (you know you don’t)
“Hmmm…do we have charcoal?” (you know there isn’t enough.
“Nope not enough.”
…then shake your head in dismay and act as if you have NO IDEA (which you really don’t)
1600 – Ask who is doing what in terms of evening activities to figure out the timelines you’ll be cooking.
“Well dad and Dan have practice at 6.”
1602-1645 – Listen to them moan about not being able to wait until they get home and how you really “don’t love them that much” and how you HAVE TO COOK SOMETHING OR THEY WILL DIE!
1800– Commence to cut up the chicken thighs and watch as they all settle down cause they know SOMETHING is coming soon.
6:10 Cut some bread and put it out (see 6:16 entry).
6:15 – Stand by as they start to get aroused by the aromas and move downstairs to circle you. Caution them as they try to reach their hands into the boiling hot pans ONCE AGAIN and tell them things in hot pans ARE HOT (ONCE AGAIN) and they must take care not to burn themselves.
6:16 After the first one yells because he’s burned, direct them all to the bread.
6:30 – Tell them they can get food but caution them that Dad and Dan still have to eat.
6:33 – Tell them yes they can get seconds but they can’t divide what’s left into 5. Dad and Dan deserve a full serving before they get a second SMALLER serving. (Explain that a couple of times as they protest about “snoozing and loosing” yada yada.)
6:45 – Sit and finish your drink just smiling cause you know your dinner (or at least the passive aggressive build up) was on time and on target!
6:50 – Sit at your computer and reflect on how freaking lucky you are!
6:55 – Say “Yes you can be excused” and smile as they get up and start to clean the kitchen without being asked!!!!
YES WITHOUT BEING ASKED!!!!!!
2200 – Go to bed cause it is all going to happen again tomorrow and you need your strength!
Recipe: Momma’s “What’s for Dinner Pasta”
Boneless chicken thighs salted and peppered on both sides
Cut boneless chicken thighs up into small pieces and cook in a pan in hot evoo. Drain and put in a holding pan. (Don’t move them around too much on each side. Let them brown-hard to do cause you worry they’ll burn so get on Facebook work something for about 4-5 minutes per side).
Start pasta water BUT DON’T PUT THE PASTA IN YET. Wait until you’ve melted the butter for the sauce (follows).
Same pan you cooked the chicken in. Leave the brown bits (that’s flavor baby) but get rid of the excess fat.
Melt 1 to 1.25 sticks of butter. Keep the flame LOW so it doesn’t burn.
Add either three diced garlic cloves or in a crunch put in about a tablespoon of garlic powder.
After that melts SLOWLY and is bubbly add in about 2 tablespoons of creamcheese.
Once that is melted and smooth add 1/4 cup of whatever spaghetti sauce you like.
Keep mixing. By now you should have had the pasta in the boiling water.
To the sauce ingredients add either a 1/4 cup of diced basil or about 2 tablespoons of the tubed basil you buy in the store. Sorry I like that for sauces cause it dissolves.
Add 1 tsp of red pepper flakes.
Add the cooked Angel hair pasta and some pasta water cause the pasta will soak up all the sauce…and you want it a bit saucy.
Once it is all combined and “stewed” for a couple minutes…throw the cooked chicken on top and tell the heathens it is ready to eat.