A Letter to My Husband

I wanted to write you a letter today.

I wanted to tell you that I love you as much today as I did 22 years ago; but I can’t.

In truth, that love was an immature love, a conditional love, and I realize I didn’t know you. When I consider our love now, I am struck that I love you more than I did 22 years ago. I love all of your strengths I’ve come to know, and all of your weaknesses I’ve come to embrace. I love the man and not just the image of the two of us being together. For better or for worse is not the definition of moments in a marriage, it is the story of a marriage. The acceptance of “for better or for worse” as the way life unfolds and knowing you are there to face that life with me has given me an incredible sense of security.

I wanted to talk about all the people that have helped us as our lives have unfolded and how we wouldn’t be who we are without that help; but as we both know, I can’t.

I cannot thank everyone who helped us along the way because in truth we have done most of this ourselves.

Any success we have has been because we’ve planned for that success. We have certainly had strong mentors to provide good examples, but we’ve made the choices and struggled through the highs and lows to get to this point in our lives on our own. I’m proud of that and don’t think I’d want it any other way.

I wanted to talk about everything I cannot wait to do with you when the children are gone and it is just you and me, but I can’t.

I don’t look forward to our children being gone. We have a life and a love that allows us to embrace all the things we want to do as a couple and with the boys; here and now. That doesn’t mean I don’t look forward to having time for just you and me…but I have no need to have that happen tomorrow, the next day or anytime sooner than it is supposed to happen. I am very happy living these days now. I am very happy not to rush them, and I don’t want our family to ever be so far apart that we cannot get together and celebrate the love we’ve built.

It will always come back to us. I am sure.

I wanted to point to the life I envision for us as we get closer to our goals but really; we have achieved our goals.

They are not somewhere out in the future…they are now. Every kiss in the morning, every smile in the afternoon and every time we get through another event as a family only impresses upon me how many goals we have achieved.

I wanted to write about the perfection of our union and how absolutely easy this has all been; but as we both know we are not perfect, and this has not been easy.

We started a life together that was literally tested by being oceans apart. We both understand that marriage is hard work and that love is a verb that has to be constantly acted upon to be real. I appreciate that at times when I forget that, you bring me back to those actions.

I appreciate that you demand a lot from me. I appreciate that we are partners in the marriage we have and that we are each other’s confidants. I know our secrets are safe with one another, and that love will always be a verb for both of us.

I wanted to write you a letter today, but as it turns out the letter has written itself. I hope you take it as my gift to you.

The adventure continues, for better or for worse.

Happy Anniversary Boo

I love you
d

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