Don’t EVER

     Since I am the type of person who believes that making mistakes is a part of learning, I am sharing with you one of my lessons learned in hopes that it will benefit you in the near term or perhaps long term as you go through life.   Here goes:

     Don’t EVER consider training a five month old puppy on the electric fence you have in the yard.  Regardless of how big they are physically they are too young to understand.  When they get hit by that first “correction” blast they will basically think that someone has hit them upside the head with a bowling ball.  (Please note this is also written plainly in the direction packet if you choose to read it). 

     If you do decide to train a five month old puppy on the electric fence, don’t EVER do it after a rainfall.  There is a reason that the electric chair executioners put a wet sponge on the condemned man’s head just before he is hit with thousands of volts of electricity.  The water MAGNIFIES the effect of the shock. 

     If you do decide to train a five month old puppy on the electric fence after a rainfall, don’t EVER bend down to talk to him/her as you are walking up to the electric fenceline because chances are he/she will pop up three and a half feet upon experiencing the first slam of the bowling ball they believe has just hit them in the head.  It hurts the puppy and will slam your chin up into your tongue to the point where you are standing there, in the rain, hemorrhaging. .

     If you do decide to train a five month old puppy on the electric fence after a rainfall and do stand close enough to where you get hit in the chin by their three and a half feet jump, don’t EVER decide to then take the puppy into the house to rest.  They will proceed to pant for about 25 minutes and then will throw up all over the carpets … I mean throw up everything they’ve eaten for the past 24 hours…on your 2,000 dollar living room rug.

     Okay–just thought you should know.

“Livin’ the dream”

d

 

 

 

 

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5 responses to “Don’t EVER

  1. ps…share the site with your friends if you like it…it’ll help…d

  2. You dolly–so good to hear from you too and thrilled you found the blog…I hope it is fun for all. I had a piece published recently in the Washington Post Magazine and that kind of pushed me to get a bit more serious. We’ll see where this leads. As always encouragement from folks like you has helped keep me energized.

  3. You hot ticket! I am soo glad to see you sharing your writings with the world!! We have been enjoying it for years – I can’t wait to follow your blog

    Sue

  4. Thanks Steve–I’m glad you enjoyed it. There’s never a dull momment.

    d

  5. Hilarious. I have two dogs, you’re advice will not go unheeded.

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